My Next Book Boyfriend (Book Boyfriend #1) Page 21

  “Rylie! Go over there and get in line!” Molly squeals beside me. She’s as excited as I am.

  Smiling, I grab their two books and start to walk off toward their table. I don’t get but a few steps before I stop. This is it. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for, for so long. What do I say? I’m afraid I’ll do something stupid like trip as I hand them my books and knock everything off their table or worse yet, throw up on their table. I’m scared to death!

  I feel her hands on my shoulders as I stare at the line. “Go ahead, bestie. You’ve got this! They’re just a person.” To her. “A human being.” To her. “You’ve done great today. It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for! Go get ‘em!” Ugh! Easy for her to say or do.

  Taking a deep breath, I square my shoulders in determination and start walking over there. Of course, I didn’t get too far with the line being so long. I’m nervous but excited, and the mystery of this person has been a slow death, but finally I’ll be able to see them. In person! The line moves frustratingly slow and with all the people in front of me, I can’t even catch a glimpse. Ugh! It’s getting on my last nerve. My stomach is in knots, and I feel like I’m dying! Okay, a little overanxious but my stomach really is in knots. Probably didn’t help that I drank my weight in water this morning and ate several pastries. But still.

  Standing here this long, winding down for a little bit, I think about Jax. All of the times he asked me about the books I was reading. How excited he was for me to meet the authors, especially J. Stearns. How we’re so compatible with movies. And I didn’t even give him a chance, talk to him to really see what that was all about. Now, he’s gonna be a daddy, and I haven’t even told him yet. What kind of a bitch am I? I pull my phone out of my pocket, feeling horrible, and send off a text.

  Me: I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you. Tomorrow morning? Breakfast?

  The line moves, a little, and I take a few steps, getting a little closer. But right now, I just want to hear from Jax. I cover my flat stomach with my hand trying to imagine how one day there will be a baby bump there. A baby. Inside me. Growing. I don’t know if I care if it’s a boy or girl. All I know is – I love them already. I even have a name figured out, no matter if it’s a boy or girl. My phone vibrates in my hand, and my heart speeds up.

  Jax: YES! A thousand times YES! Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry if I hurt you in any way.

  Sigh. Now I feel worse.

  The line moves again and now my heart is beating quickly for another reason. Is J. Stearns a man or woman? Will they still have a copy of Believe in Dreams left for me to buy and autograph it with all their other books I brought? What do they look like? Are they nice? I’m dying here as I stand up on my tiptoes, trying to see over people’s heads to get a glimpse. No such luck! I wish the line would hurry, not only for my sanity but God I need to pee! Then it happens. I’m behind the last two people! Squeeeeee! I hope I don’t do something stupid. These women are taking forever! Should I yell, “Lady with a baby!”? Uh, no. I’m not quite ready for that little secret to come out but if it would make these wench’s move, I might consider it.

  Suddenly, that slo-mo hits again. They begin to part, like Moses with the Red Sea. My eyes begin moving with my feet, searching for J. Stearns. First, I notice that where their paperbacks of Believe in Dreams were stacked is empty. My heart stops beating. Then, I look up and my eyes land right on – Jax? He’s standing behind the table, smiling? What the hell? I watch him. My mouth opens, he’s looking around, until his eyes lock onto mine. His smile fades, and he stiffens.

  “Jax?”

  I look down and see J. Stearns signing a book, her head bent down. Well, at least now I know J. Stearns is a she. She hears me and looks up.

  “Addie?”

  What in the fuck is going on?

  I don’t know what to do. What to say. I’m completely numb, disbelieving. All this time. They didn’t tell me? Addie and I had started to become what I thought were very close friends. She couldn’t tell me this huge secret? Was she afraid I would tell? And Jax. We’ve been together for over three months, spending a weekend a month at his cabin. He took my v-card! Kinda. I’m pregnant with his child! Okay, he doesn’t know that part but still! He couldn’t trust me with this? And what does that mean about him being with her at the signing? And after what I heard the other day. I slap my forehead. “Oh, my God! I’m so stupid!”

  “Rylie. No.” Jax takes a step to the side, like he’s going to walk out from behind the table. I hold my shaking hand up, palm out, stopping him.

  I let out a laugh. “I’m so very, very stupid.”

  Addie rises, my hand still raised. “Rylie. Let me explain.”

  Shaking my head, I take a step back. “What’s to explain? That you couldn’t trust me to keep your secret? Or, maybe it’s the fact that you all have been seeing each other behind my back?” I laugh again and step back, right into the person behind me. It throws me off balance a little but I straighten and raise my chin at them. “Trust me. I won’t make the same mistake again. Ever!” Turning around, I start walking fast back to my table.

  “RYLIE! WAIT!”

  I hear Jax calling me so I start jogging.

  “Please, Rylie! Don’t go! Let us talk to you!”

  I close my eyes at the sound of Addie’s voice. I’m shaking, my heart pounding against my chest. I have to get out of here. Tears fill my eyes, making it harder to see where I’m going. Please, just let me get to my table, get my bag and leave. I won’t break down in front of him. I won’t give him the satisfaction. I’m dodging people, trying not to cry, bumping, pushing, and try to take a peek back over my shoulder. He’s running toward me. Well, trying to. He’s having a harder time than I am since all the women he’s trying to get through are trying to talk to him. Taking the advantage, I shove my way through, seeing Molly looking concerned and heading toward me. My stomach hurts, my entire body shaking, and I feel ill.

  I manage to get to Molly. She grabs my arms and looks at me. “What the hell happened and whose ass do I need to kick?”

  “I need to leave. Now!”

  She keeps ahold of my arm and leads me over to our table, grabbing my bag and handing it to me. “Rylie. What happened?” I look over my shoulder and see Jax is getting closer then look back at her, my tears threatening to fall. “Please. I need to go.”

  She stands up on her tiptoes and looks around me. “Jax? What the hell is he doing here?” She looks back at me, anger radiating off her. “Did he follow us here?”

  “Molly. I can’t….”

  “RYLIE! WAIT!”

  My brows raise high. “I have to go!”

  She nods and takes my hand whispering something to Duncan, then pulls me around our table and the group of women there, then drags me to the doors on the other side. We’re dodging people right and left as we burst through the door and head toward the elevators. Looking over my shoulder, I don’t see him. We need to hurry! The elevators are in sight, and Molly squeezes my hand. This is why she’s my bestie. She doesn’t have to know what’s going on right now and just helps me. We reach the doors, Molly pushing on the button repeatedly.

  “RYLIE!”

  I turn my head and see Jax trying to get around a large pack of women. I turn back and look at Molly then at the doors. “Please! Please, hurry.”

  “RYLIE, DAMMIT! WAIT!”

  His voice is coming closer when we hear a “ding” and the elevator to my right slowly opens. We stand there, waiting for a few women to get out, then she pulls me inside. I’m breathing heavily with the exertion, my heart pounding so hard it fills my ears. My stomach is beyond upset. We turn around and I can see him, breaking free of the small crowd, running full speed toward us. Molly is practically beating on the button to the first floor. I back up until I hit the railing and hold my breath.

  “Come on! Come ON!
” Molly yells then suddenly the doors begin to close, ever so slowly.

  He reaches the elevator just as the doors close, but I hear him pounding on them. “Rylie. Let me….”

  His voice muffles then fades away.

  I fill her in as much as I can in the short ride. She’s fuming as I knew she would be. Hell, so am I! As soon as the doors open, we walk out, and I immediately turn to my right and head right toward the bathroom. I feel as though I might lose all those pastries I ate earlier so I start jogging as we get nearer. We make it inside and I run into the first stall, slamming the door, and drop to my knees. Just in time. Barely. Tears stream down my face as I lose everything in my stomach for what seems like the last three days. No lie! It’s like I can’t stop! Soon, I know I’m close to being done when I begin dry heaving. So gross! Finally, I sit down, leaning against the cool metal of the stall and cover my face with my hands.

  He’s kept things from me. Didn’t trust me.

  He told me he loved me yet he’s seeing Addie?

  And Addie.

  I thought that maybe we were becoming best friends. She didn’t trust me either. And she’s going out with my Hot Tamale? Mine. That’s a laugh. Well, I guess Jax and I never specified that we were exclusive. But Addie? He knows how close we’d become. Then again, how can you love someone, truly love someone, and go out with another woman? Shouldn’t that mean you’re exclusive?

  I’m so confused and feel so betrayed. My stomach hurts and I wish I was at home, in my bed, with Willy.

  “What the hell?” That’s Molly. “You can’t come in here!” What?

  “Molly. Just let me talk to her.” Oh, my God! Jax is in here? In the women’s bathroom? I can hear him breathing heavily.

  “How did you know we were in here? How could you possibly get down so fast?” She’s more than pissed.

  “Stairs.” He chokes out between pants. “Look. I know this looks bad.”

  “Looks bad? Are you fucking kidding me? First….” Oh no! I can just visualize her finger pressing against his chest. Her angry voice is booming. “You go out with another woman.”

  “I did what?”

  “Don’t interrupt!” she screams.

  “Um…. excuse me.” Another woman’s voice. “Isn’t this the women’s restroom?”

  “Look, lady. Private conversation here. Do you mind?” Molly growls.

  I hear footsteps scampering out.

  “Okay. Where was I? Oh yeah. Then you go out behind her back and with Addie of all people! And what? You can’t even trust the woman you love with this BIG ass secret that Addie is a famous author?”

  I begin to stand still shaking and legs wobbling. Don’t say it, Molly.

  “So, you think taking her to your cabin, teaching her how to fish and drive, and taking her v-card entitles you to WHAT?”

  I unlock the door and start to open it. Please, don’t say it, Molly!

  “Then you knock her up, the whole time you’re going out on her?”

  Fuck! She said it.

  Just as she catches her fatal mistake, Jax’s eyes snap to mine, his mouth drops open. Molly takes a couple of steps back and looks at me, her eyes wide.

  “Oops.” She tries to smile, looks at Jax then at me, staring at each other, and then starts walking toward the door. “I’ll just leave you two…. yeah. Bye.” She runs out of the bathroom. I’ll have to kill her later.

  “You’re pregnant,” he whispers. Is that all he got out of her tirade? Suddenly, I’m tired. Too tired to argue. I just want to go home. I walk over to the sink, turn on the faucet and splash my face with water. Filling up my hand with water, I drink some, trying to get rid of the dryness in my throat and horrible taste in my mouth. “Are you okay?” he asks as I rip off some paper towels and dab them over my face. “God.” He looks up at the ceiling and then back into my eyes. “I always seem to ask the stupidest questions. Of course you’re not okay.”

  I turn around and lean back against the counter. “I’m tired. I just want to go home.”

  “I’ll take you,” bursts from his mouth.

  I shake my head. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

  He takes the few steps to me, his hand reaching out, and I stiffen, so he pulls back. “We need to talk, Rylie.”

  I look down and let out a breath. “I know.”

  “Please. Just let me drive you home. If you’re not ready to talk, we don’t have to. Okay?”

  I look down at the floor. I want to go home. Molly and Duncan need to stay with our table until the signing is over. I can take a cab. Ugh, that’s sounds even worse. Not feeling well, tired, and with a complete stranger for the drive home. This is definitely not how I thought today would go. I look up and into his worried and pleading eyes. “Okay. I guess if I’m gonna be sick on the way home, I’d rather throw up on your leather seats.” His mouth turns up into a small, sad smile. I’m not kidding.

  I walk toward the door, him walking behind me. When I round the corner, Molly stands up from leaning against the wall just outside the bathroom. “Jax is going to drive me home.” She nods and hands me my book bag then scowls at Jax. She puts her arms around me, hugging me tight.

  “Don’t worry about anything here. We’ve got this.” She pulls back but looks into my eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay with him driving you home?” She looks over at him and sneers, then back at me.

  I let out a sigh. “Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

  “See you at home?” I nod.

  Against my better judgement, which, in reality, hasn’t been that great lately, I let him lead me out of the hotel, his hand on my lower back, and wait as the valet brings his car. We stand in silence, my eyes barely able to stay open. I’m exhausted, physically and mentally. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m normally so strong but right now, I feel like shit. Betrayed in the highest form, lied to, hurt, and I forgot to take my antibiotic this morning. His SUV rounds a corner and parks in front of us. Jax leads me over to the door and opens it for me. Once he’s inside, he takes off. I look out the side window, staring at the passing scenery, trying to get my mind around all that’s happened today.

  “Can we talk?” he whispers, like he’s afraid to break the silence.

  I don’t look at him, afraid I’ll cave, and keep my eyes looking out the window. “Can we wait a little bit? I’m really not feeling well.”

  “Sure. But Rylie? We really do need to talk.”

  I nod, knowing he’s right. He may have hurt me, ripped my heart out and tore it into shreds, but I’m not like that. And whether I want him to be or not, he is the daddy of our baby. I won’t let what my mom did to me happen to my child. He or she will know their daddy, grow up with love, whether Jax and I are together or not. I swear it! I’m so sleepy and close my eyes. Maybe just a short nap will help my stomach and my nerves. God, I hope so.

  “Get some rest, my sweet Coffee Girl.”

  Chapter 22

  “I’ve got ya.”

  I can’t seem to open my eyes but my mouth feels like the Sahara Desert, and my stomach feels like a volcano erupting. “Wha….” I ask groggily. I feel him lift me into his arms, his strength cocooning me. We move, but I have no idea where we’re going. I just want to sleep. And – why is he in my house?

  “There ya go,” he whispers, his gentle caring washes over me. I feel him grasp my hair, pulling it back. The volcano that is my stomach, purges, shooting straight out with a force. “That’s it. Let it all go.” I know he’s trying to be kind but that just made the volcano erupt in huge proportions. Again – why is he here? He needs to go. I’m mad at him, hurt beyond belief – God that feels amazing. He’s rubbing my back in soothing motions. Thank God he’s here!

  As quickly as the volcano had erupted, it stops. My stomach is cramping, and I’m now dry heaving. He l
eaves me so I lay my head down on the porcelain throne, feeling the coolness against my cheek. God, that feels good! I relax and close my eyes.

  The next time I feel him, I’m lying on a soft mattress. I feel the coolness of a cloth on my forehead. That feels so good. He’s so caring. Then why did he hurt you so badly? “Rylie? I’m gonna help you to sit up so you can take this.” Putting his arm around me, he lifts me up and holds a pill. “It says to take two a day. Did you take one already?” I shake my head. In all the rush this morning, I’d forgotten. “Okay, well, let’s get this one down.” I pick up the pill and place it in my mouth then he holds up a glass of water. I drink the pill down then chug the water like I’d been in the desert for days.

  “More?” I nod. He helps me lay back down and I close my eyes. “Be right back.”

  I feel like I’ve been asleep for years. So much so that when I rub my eyes, they’re filled with those little crusties. Ewww! As I roll over, feeling so comfortable, memories come flooding in. The signing – tackle hugging – taking pictures – fangirling – swooning. I smile. God, it was so much fun! And the Chance Geary was there! And wow – the way he looked at Molly and her being oblivious to it all. That’s kind of sacrilegious. I’ll have to talk to her about that. Then, my heart skips a beat as I think about seeing there were no more paperbacks of Believe in Dreams left but worse, Jax was at their table and Addie? Addie is J. Stearns? I fist the pillow, pulling it into me, and take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Musk. Mint. What? I bolt up into a sitting position, breathing heavily as I look around the room. I’m not at home. I’m at the cabin! What the hell?