Longing for Love Page 5

  He’s all kinds of wrong.

  He’ll break my heart.

  Uncomfortable silence as we eat. I look around, trying to figure out something to say but come up empty. “Got caught up and are actually a bit ahead of schedule now.” I try not to look at him. My eyes defy me and shift to his. His brown eyes are hypnotic. Warm, caring. Long black lashes that any woman would kill to have, including me. I can’t stop myself from looking at his face. He’s trimmed his scruff. It looks soft, inviting. Stop it, Bria! I look back down quickly, trying to get my resolve back.

  “That’s good.” Deciding I need to leave, and fast, I jump down trying not to fall with my food. Thank God, my heels didn’t falter and cause me to lose my balance. I turn, lift my chin at him, and square my shoulders back. “Let’s hope you keep it that way.” His brows raise and that sexy grin of his appears.

  “No worries there, sweetheart.” He winks. Cocky. I huff, turn and walk as graciously as I can on the gravel back to the trailer.

  * * * * * *

  “Then what happened?”

  Later that evening, Charles and I cooked up some steaks, grilled corn on the cob, and I made a salad. We’re sitting on my deck, finishing up our food, as I tell him all about Mr. Womanizer. “Ugh! I avoided him the rest of the day, of course.” He laughs, the belly aching kind, and then stops suddenly, putting his hand over mine on the glass table.

  “Girl, you have it so bad.”

  I pull my hand away, my mouth dropping open as my eyes widen in resentment.

  “I do not! That’s absurd!” God, he knows me too well. He leans back, arms crossing over his chest. He cocks his head, his brow raises and smiles. Shit! I lean back, my body sagging in defeat.

  “Aww! It’s not that bad, is it?” I look up at him and frown. “What’s the worst thing that could happen? You have a night of fun and move on? How hard can that be, pun intended.” He smiles and a small laugh burst free from my mouth.

  I look down at my lap and then back up into his eyes. My heart is beating frantically. “I don’t know if I can do just one night,” I whisper.

  He sits up. His face softens. “Girl. If it’s not meant to be then it’s not meant to be. But you won’t ever know unless you try. Maybe he is only a one night kind of guy, even to you. Maybe there really isn’t chemistry or maybe the sex is awful.” I let out another laugh. He grows serious and leans closer. “However, this is your v-card, sweetheart. It’s up to you who you decide to give it to.” He settles back into the chair, and his eyes widen. “I’ve known plenty that have given it up to a lesser man than what he sounds like, honey.” Laughter breaks free and fills the air around us. He picks up his beer and raises it so I pick mine up and we clink our bottles. “To hunky construction guys.”

  “Here, here!”

  Even though he always makes me feel so much better, I’m still confused what I should do. We both clean up our dinner dishes and then settle on the couch and watch a comedy. Much needed with all the serious feelings and decision I need to make. Around midnight, we hug each other goodnight and I shut and lock the front door then we head upstairs to our rooms. The room he uses is the only one that has bedroom furniture in it besides mine.

  Meow.

  Smoky is at my feet, as if I’d just come home from work instead of hanging out with us tonight. I pick her up, petting her as I turn on my lamp and turn off the overhead light in my room. Once I’ve done my bathroom business, I turn off that lamp and see her curled up in a ball on her side of the bed. I smile. Her love is unconditional and she’s always there when I need her. I pull back the covers and climb in. I lay my arm on my pillow and lay my head against it, stroking Smoky’s soft fur with the other. “What would you do, princess?” Her purr escalates. I smile and close my eyes.

  Chapter Five

  Kane

  Damn! When I picked up Bria, she was as light as a feather in my hands. Her body tone, firm. Right then, I wanted to lay her out on the bed of my truck and sink deep inside her. A breeze caught her scent and I wanted to smell that delicious aroma all the while touching and kissing over every inch of her. I had to keep that damn container on my lap to hide the hard on I was sporting. Do I want her that bad because I shouldn’t or is there another reason? I was a little relieved she couldn’t finish her lunch out there with me but I was nervous when she jumped off my tailgate and onto the gravel in those fucking high heels of hers. She’s gonna really hurt herself one day wearing those here. I was about ready to jump down and grab her before she fell but she managed to stay upright.

  Long legs.

  Silky skin.

  Toned.

  I worked out at the gym, twice, trying to get her out from under my skin. Didn’t help. Every time I saw a woman with long dark hair, even up in one of those tie things, I would think of her. I decided not to go to Pops tonight, in fear she’d be there. Instead, I walked into another bar about fifteen minutes further away. I’ve been in the place several times, when I wanted to keep out of my family’s watchful eye. I know they want me to settle down, stop picking up the women I do, but I’m just not ready for that. I like my life just fine the way it is.

  The bar is packed. There is live music. Three guys playing instruments on the stage and a woman who can definitely belt out a tune. Walking to the counter, I find a little space and nod at the bartender Danny. “Cold one,” I shout over the loudness of the music. He brings over my beer and hands it to me. I give him a few bills and tell him to keep the change then turn around and lean against the counter, scoping out the room. It’s pretty hopping tonight. It would be strange for a week night, but when they have live music, and not reserved for just weekends, people gather pretty regularly. There’s some likely candidates here and there but what stops my eyes from searching is the female singer up on the stage. Her hair is long, down to the top of her ass. Ringlets flow over her shoulders and around her waist as she moves to the rhythm of the song she’s singing. Blue eyes catch mine and suddenly it feels as if she’s singing only to me. This is perfect, just what I need. Someone completely opposite of the woman who won’t seem to leave my mind. It’s odd, the many women I’ve been with that come close to Bria’s description. All beautiful in their own right, I suppose. I’ve never seen another that has her look, her sophistication, her toned, well-kept body, and those brown eyes that I seem to get lost in. Shit! There I go again. The music stops and I come back into focus.

  “Thank you! We’re going to take a small break. Don’t go anywhere.” The female speaks into the microphone and everyone yells and claps. She jumps down from the small platform, her slim hips swaying. She’s shorter than I like but those tight fitting low cut jeans and equally low cut top, showing the cleavage of her more than abundant breasts, make up for it. Her long curly hair sways with her sexy walk as I watch her cut through the crowd, speaking to a few people as she passes, until she’s right in front of me. She looks up at me with those big blue eyes and I give her a grin. “Haven’t seen you here before.”

  I take a long drawl of beer and swallow hard. I notice her eyes following my throat as the liquid goes down. “I come here, sometimes.” She smiles. “That’s the best line you got?” I give her a wink and her eyes darken.

  “Maybe I don’t need a line.” She bites the inside of her cheek. “But I would like a cold beer.”

  I take a step and turn. “Where are my manners?” I look at Danny and hold up my empty bottle then hold up two fingers then lay down a twenty on the counter. He nods and rushes over to the chest then twists off the caps and sets the bottles down in front of me. I pick them up and turn back and hold one out of her. “Here you go.” I watch her take a drink as I take my own. She smiles around the bottle and then gives me another smile as her lips pop off the rim.

  “So, if you’re gonna be around after the next set, maybe we can get to know each other better.” I reach out and tap her bottle with mine, giving her a wink.

  “Sounds good.”

  We stand there, just staring at eac
h other and drinking our beers, until she hands me her empty bottle. “Well, gotta go get this last set done. See you after, sugar.” She winks and starts to turn away.

  “I’ll be here.”

  She smiles and then I watch that fine ass sashay through the crowd and up onto the stage. Yep, gonna be a good night.

  We left an hour later. I followed her to her place. I never have any women at my apartment. Never. By the time we get inside, my heat is boiling over after watching her move around that stage for their last set. Apparently she is equally ready as she starts undressing me the minute we get inside her door. A woman who takes charge. I like that. My mind flitters to a porcelain skinned face, brown eyes, and full lips. My eyes close tightly. I try to push that away. I open them to blue eyes staring up at me in confusion. Bending, I grab her waist, her gasp echoes around us as I lift her. My mouth covers hers. She wraps her arms around my neck, her legs around my waist as I carry her down a small hallway. I have no idea where I’m going so I turn right into the first door.

  “Bathroom,” she says against my lips.

  I turn and go further down the hallway and into the only other door. Thank fuck there’s a bed. I lay her on the mattress and she begins tugging on the hem of my shirt. I remove it and then my jeans. Her eyes widen. Yeah, I’m always commando, baby. She looks at my hardened cock with lustful eyes then licks her lips. I grasp her arms, pulling her up until she’s sitting. I reach for the hem of her tight shirt and she raises her arms, eagerly. I lift it over her head, dropping it on the floor, her blonde curls fall all around her. Her breasts are almost busting out of her black bra. Reaching behind her I unclasp it, letting those full, luscious breasts out of their confines. Her tits are already harder than a rock, jutting out and ready for my mouth. But first, I gently push her shoulders until she’s laying down and I unbutton her jeans, pulling the zipper down as I stare into her blue eyes that have now darkened with her desire. Grabbing the waistband, I tug them down along with her black panties, until I’ve pulled them off her feet. They join her shirt and bra in a heap on the floor. I stare down at her, all splayed out, waiting for me. Bending down, I pull my wallet from my jeans, taking out a condom and tearing it open with my teeth. I drop my jeans back to the floor then I watch her watch me sheath my aching cock. She lifts her arms out, her fingers moving beaconing me.

  Her eyes move with me as I round the bed, crawling onto the mattress. The fire within me is burning and I need to extinguish it quickly. Her legs spread for me and I settle between them. I lean up with my left hand firmly on the mattress beside her, my right fills with the fullness of her breast as I plunge into her, hard. She meets my every thrust. Her moans spur me on. I close my eyes as I kiss up her neck. I can tell she’s close as her muscles begin to clench around my cock, her legs beginning to shake. My balls start to tighten, my heart racing with each push. Visions of dark black hair and brown eyes enter my head. She yells, her fingernails digging into the flesh of my arms. Throwing my head back, I scream, “Bria!” and stop mid thrust, catching my mistake. I open my eyes to find hers are filled with tears. My brows lower and the amazing euphoria I was feeling dwindles quickly. “Fuck! I’m sorry,” I whisper. She turns her head, her hands pushing against my chest. I roll off her, feeling mortified by my mistake. I sit back on my legs, watching her walk to her closet and coming back out with a robe on. She doesn’t look at me.

  “Just go,” she whispers.

  For the first time in my life I feel ashamed. I can’t fathom how badly I hurt her. Slowly, I climb off the bed, put on my jeans, and pick up my shirt. My fist is tight on its grasp as I start to walk from the room. When I get close, she tenses up, her head lowered so she doesn’t have to look at me. I lean in but don’t touch her. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper. And I mean it. I’ve gone out with so many women, the rules up front, nothing personal – no ties. I won’t even sleep with them after, even though a few of them have tried to coax me.

  Too personal.

  Too intimate.

  But in the end, it’s always been mutual, agreed from the beginning, and most have been fine with it. There’s only been a couple that put up a little fuss, not much. Those few I never saw again while only a few have been repeaters. Fuck buddies if you will. Mutual. Nothing personal. It’s what they want too so everyone’s happy. But this? This is something I’ve never come across, never thought in my wildest dreams it would ever happen.

  Kitten.

  Too much in my head.

  I clear my throat, hesitating too long. “I really am sorry.” Silence. She doesn’t look up. I don’t blame her. I’m an asshole. I leave her room and quickly walk through her apartment, out the door and down to my truck. Once inside, I start it up then pull out quickly. At this point, I’m not sure what upsets me more. That I just treated a woman with absolutely no dignity or that I can’t get Bria out of my head. Thing is, not once have I ever thought about another woman during sex, and definitely not how much I’ve been thinking about her. It’s like my brain won’t shut off. Finally, I pull into my apartment complex and park in my reserved spot in front of my building. I’ve lived here since I was old enough and had enough money to move out of my parents’ house. It’s not much to look at. The building is old, all brick. I live on the bottom floor, first apartment on the left. There’s no front entrance, everything is open and you can walk straight through to the back. They have a small workout room, but I prefer the gym. A pretty decent swimming pool but by the time I want to go swimming, I just head to the beach.

  I finally get inside and throw my keys onto the coffee table as I walk behind the couch and take a much needed hot shower. After brushing my teeth, I climb into bed, pull only the sheet up over me and try to get comfortable. Once I close my eyes all I can see is Bria.

  Over the next few days, I eat breakfast at Ma and Pops, work my ass off, and stay away from Bria, as much as I can. She gave me looks of confusion and even Irish growled at me several times. I go workout then stop by the bar for a couple of beers and dinner then head home instead of going out. I’m horny as hell but as soon as I’d think about what I did to that girl, my cock would deflate instantly. I think I’m ruined for life.

  It’s Saturday morning and I pull into my parent’s small driveway. Can’t wait for some good eats and the last work day of the week. Decided I better work the crew today to make up for the “accident” earlier in the week and see if we can get more ahead of schedule. I can smell the bacon cooking as I walk in the door. My mouth waters as I walk to the kitchen. Ma’s at the stove and Pop’s sitting at the table reading the newspaper. I stop and just look at them. This is family. This is everything.

  “Working on a Saturday?”

  Pop doesn’t look up as I walk by and sit down across from him. Mom walks over and sets a plate down in front of me, leaning over and kissing the top of my head. I smile up at her and then look down and pick up my fork. “Yeah. Thought we’d get ahead of schedule a bit.” I scoop some eggs into my mouth and chew when Pop lowers the paper enough for me to see his eyes.

  “Good. Good.”

  Weird. Now that I can see him clearly, he seems pale in color. Nah, just my imagination. I eat every bite and have a second on eggs before I finally leave. I need to get this day done.

  Chapter Six

  Bria

  So glad it’s Saturday. I plan on going over to get a few things done at the site then I am taking the rest of the day off. I’m sure tomorrow I’ll work a little from home. I rarely ever take an entire day off. I get to the site early and get out of my car, coffee in hand, and walk around the trailer, pushing the key into the lock. I like the quiet time here. It gives me a little peace before all the construction sounds filter around while trying to work. A few minutes later, I’m deep in thought as I go over figures on my spreadsheet that I need to send to Daddy before I leave. The door opens and my heart begins to beat irregularly, thinking Kane will be standing there when I look up. Instead, I see the one person I’d rather not see.


  “Good morning, Daddy.”

  Of course even on a Saturday morning he’s in a tailored suit looking like he’s going to a banquet or a high power business meeting instead of standing in a construction trailer.

  “Brianna.” My full name, as always. So formal. You’d never know he is my father. He walks over and stands before my desk. “I need those figures. You should have had them to me yesterday.” My anger begins low and works its way up my body quickly.

  “I’m working on them and will send them to you shortly. I’ve been trying to….”

  “Did you figure in the destruction of the materials and time involved to replace? What about the modifications you made?” I start to open my mouth when he begins pacing. “Dammit, Brianna. I don’t know what’s come over you lately. You used to be top notch, had everything organized and to me promptly.” He stops and glowers at me, making me shrink a little in my chair, redness overtakes his face in anger. “If you’re not up to par, up to doing this job accurately and in a timely manner, Darrin is ready in the wings to step in.”

  What? He wouldn’t. I start to stand, roughly pushing the chair back, the sound of it hitting hard against the aluminum wall, loud in the small area. I open my mouth to tell him what I think about Darrin being in the wings when another voice cuts me off.

  “I believe the lady said you’ll have them shortly.”

  His low, gruff voice sends chills through me. Daddy turns and I look over his shoulder. Kane’s leaning against the door frame, his large arms crossed over his chest, relaxed yet he’s looking at Daddy like he could kill.

  “Excuse me?” Daddy turns fully around, his stance posed and stuffy. “And you are?”