Country Bliss (Country Love 1.5) Read online

  “God. If you’d see fittin’, I’d appreciate you takin’ care of my Sadie and Annie tonight.” I try to swallow but it seems my mouth is all dry. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Please, put your lovin’ arms around them, hold onto them tight, and guide them back to me.”

  Don’t know how long I’ve been pacin’ the floor, feelin’ like my legs could give out at any time. “Memphis?” I spin around, seein’ Kim walkin’ towards me. She’s another old family friend and schoolmate from way back. She walks straight up to me, puttin’ her hands on my folded arms, and she smiles. “Sadie’s out of surgery and is doin’ fine.” I let out the breath I didn’t know I’d been holdin’ in relief. “She’s in a recovery room down the hall and as soon as she’s stable they’ll put her in a room on this floor.”

  “Annie?” I whisper, almost afraid to hear.

  Kim’s smile lowers a little. “They took her straight to the NICU.” I tilt my head in confusion. “It’s the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. It’s on this floor but on the other side beside the nursery.” She hesitates and I know it’s not good news. “Memphis. Annie will have to stay here probably for a month or so dependin’ on how well she does. When they allow ya’ll to see her you might be a little shocked and I know it’ll be hard to see. Ya’ll will need to be strong for each other and for Annie. She’ll have a ton of different monitors around her for her heart rate, respiratory rate, blood pressure, and temperature. She’ll even have a breathin’ tube until her little lungs develop more and get stronger.” She squeezes my arm. “She’s got a long road ahead of her but God willin’, she’ll grow stronger and one day will get to go home.”

  God, I feel like I could cry, my knees become weak. Kim goes in and out of focus as my eyes well up with tears.

  “We got ‘em. Thanks, Kim.”

  I feel strong arms guide me backwards, my legs hittin’ a chair, and I sit down. I feel an arm move around my shoulders and turn to my left, some tears slide down my face. Colby’s sittin’ next to me, concern fillin’ his eyes. “Glad to hear that Sadie’s in recovery.” I turn to my right and see Trevor sittin’ there. My friends. My family. Trevor puts his hand on my arm.

  “Jared and Evie are fine. They’ve been askin’ about Sadie and Annie. I told them they were okay. Thought that’d be the best thing to say, for now. They were beggin’ to talk to you so I told them I’d have you call them when you can but that it might be awhile.” I nod, still not able to speak. How did he get here so fast? He smiles. “I was on the road with Colby when we were talkin’ on the phone.” He winks and grins.

  “Sadie’s strong,” Colby says. I turn to look at him, snifflin’ and rubbin’ the tears away. “You’re strong. Annie’s got part of both of you in her. She’ll fight. You just have to believe.”

  I bend down, leanin’ my arms on my legs. “Ya’ll are such great friends. No, you’re family. Thanks for comin’ here tonight. I know it was difficult to get here and leavin’ your family’s at home in this storm.” I rub my hands down my face, worn out from workin’ on the farm, diggin’ folks outta the snow, and the fear that held me all night in findin’ Sadie and Evie. The blood. So much blood. Annie fightin’ for her life.

  “We wouldn’t be anywhere else. Ya know ya’ll aren’t just friends but family. Have been for a long time now.” I look up at Colby. The look on his face as he smiles is so carin’.

  “Hell, ya know Prie would have been here but I told her I was comin’ up here first,” Trevor says with a chuckle. I grin, my own laugh bustin’ free. It’s true.

  “Ya know Shiloh would have been here too. Hell, she almost tried to but the baby started cryin’.” I look back at Colby and smile.

  “I know. The gals are tougher then ya’ll are.” I chuckle, both of them laughin’ along with me. It feels good to laugh for a minute. Things have been so tough, so tense.

  “Memphis?”

  I look up, a smile still on my face, but it fades quickly as I stand and walk over to Kim. “Can I see Sadie now?” My heart feels like it’s poundin’ out of my chest, my breathin’ shallow.

  “Yes. We just got her settled into a room. She’s still asleep but stable.” Thank you, God! “First, would you like to go peek in on your daughter on the way?”

  I stand firm. “Not without her mama.”

  Kim smiles. “Fair ‘nough. When Sadie wakes up, I need you to help keep her calm and call me in there. I’ll get Dr. Pratt to come in and we’ll update her with everythin’, unless you’d like to tell her yourself.”

  “I would like to, yes. Right now, can you take me to her?” My anxiousness is becomin’ overwhelmin’. I need to see her. Feel her. I need to see her breathin’ and feel her warmth. Kim just smiles and turns. I start to follow her but stop and look over my shoulder at the guys. I feel bad leavin’ them after they came up here for me. For us. They’re both standin’, lookin’ at me and smilin’.

  “Go on, Memphis.” Trevor smiles.

  “Go be with your gal.” Colby grins.

  “Thank ya’ll. You’ll never know how much.”

  Bestest buddy’s anyone could ever have. My heart is full yet I’m a bit nervous and excited as I follow Kim down the hallway. I can’t wait to see Sadie but gotta say I’m scared to tell her about Annie. She’ll be worried. Scared. I know she’s weak and needs to keep up her strength. This will be hard on her. All the fear, the dread of tellin’ her, the anxiousness of seein’ her, all stopped the minute we reached her door. She’s curled up in a ball. Still. She looks so small in that uncomfortable bed. Alone. Nothin’ in the room but monitors, wires, and tubes. I feel Kim pat my back but don’t acknowledge as I walk into the room. I see a chair settin’ next to the bed but I walk around and sit down behind her on the mattress, leanin’ down and take off my boots. She doesn’t stir as I take off my coat and set it on the floor. Turning around, I climb onto the hard, thin mattress. I put my arm around her and bury my nose into her hair, breathin’ her in. Feelin’ her warmth.

  “It’s my fault.” She sniffles. I still, holdin’ my breath. “She’d still be here if not for me. But…” She turns, facin’ me, her wet eyes searchin’ mine for understandin’. “I had to get Evie.” Tears fall from her beautiful eyes and my heart breaks for her. “A life for a life. Just like her twin did for her but it wasn’t enough.” What? What the hell is she talkin’ about? “I’m sorry, Memphis.” She cries. “I did what I was told all this time. I was so careful and stayed in bed until I about went crazy but when I would get to finally hold Annie in my arms, it would have been all worth it.” She swallows hard as more tears fall. “It’s all my fault! I don’t know how you’ll be able to look at me or how I’ll ever live with myself!” She lowers her head, her shoulders movin’ with her sobbin’. Shit! She thinks Annie is dead and that she caused it.

  I put my arms around her, pullin’ her into me. She fists some of my flannel shirt, her face buried into my chest as she continues to cry. “Darlin’. Darlin’. Annie’s down the hall.” She stills, her face lifts a bit, and her eyes look up at me, blinkin’ rapidly.

  “What?” she whispers, her chin quiverin’.

  I smile, tryin’ to calm her. “She’s down the hall. I haven’t seen her yet. Don’t want to without you. She’s real premature and I guess there’s a lot of risks but she’ll be a fighter.” I lean down and kiss her forehead. “Just like her mama.”

  Those tears she’s been sheddin’ just tripled. “She’s alive?”

  I nod, rubbin’ my cheek against her head. “Yep. I guess she’s got a lot of monitors hooked up to her and she has a long road to go but we’ll help her.” She buries her face back into my chest and starts sobbin’ again. Hard. “Hey now. Get that cryin’ out ‘cos once you’re strong and healed, we got a lot of celebratin’ to do. Annie’s here.” She nods against my chest, still cryin’. “Hey, look at me.” I cup her face and bend down, liftin’ it
so she’ll look into my eyes. “Nothin’ was your fault.” She blinks, tears droppin’. “Ya hear me? You did what any good mama would have done. You went out to find your daughter and didn’t have a choice in the matter. You found warmth by Clancy and kept our daughter safe and warm until we could get there.”

  “Oh, my God, Memphis. Clancy.” She cries. “I’m so sorry about Clancy.”

  I hold her closer, puttin’ my chin on top of her head, and start rubbin’ her back. With everythin’ goin’ on, I hadn’t had time to digest that Clancy passed away. Up by Pa’s oak tree, the place he loved to graze and where he felt closer to Pa. “I knew his time was close. The way he’d been actin’ lately.” I smile, knowin’ she could feel me. “He loved it by Pa’s tree. Think that’s where we’ll bury him. He’d like that.” So much has happened so quickly. Makes me wonder how we get by sometimes. We’ve been blessed. It’s been a long time since anythin’ bad has happened. Life has a way of giving you bad times mixed in with the good. “I’m just thankful Clancy did one last good thing for my family. He kept you and Evie safe and warm until we could find ya’ll.”

  “I had no idea.” She curls her hand up against my chest, layin’ her head down beside it. I’m so grateful to be holdin’ her again, safe in my arms. “I feel like I’ve been so out of it, lying in bed for so long, not really being around to know everything that’s been going on.” She looks up at me, worry still in her wet eyes, and lets out a sigh. “Things just can’t be normal for too long with us can they?” I chuckle and tighten my arms around her.

  “God. I love you so much.” I kiss the top of her head as she snuggles into me. Best damn feelin’ in the world.

  Chapter Eight

  Sadie

  “She looks so tiny and so alone,” I whisper.

  Memphis is squatting down next to my wheelchair, both of us looking through the window at Annie. She’s so small in the large incubator, a little over five pounds, hooked up to monitors with different thin tubes sticking out all over her. A tube taped across her small face and placed down her tiny throat is helping her breath as her lungs develop. She’s being fed through a small feeding tube until she’s strong enough to drink breast milk or formula. Dr. Pratt said if I would have carried her full term she would have been a bigger baby, probably over seven pounds. Of course our twins were smaller but they didn’t have as much room to grow. Not even twelve hours old and her family can’t even hold her.

  I feel his arm move around my shoulders, his hand sets on the rail of the chair. I don’t know what I’d do without him. His strength. His love. I lay my head against his shoulder. “God blessed us with her and he will help her fight to survive. She’ll get strong and will be in our arms.” He leans his head against mine. “We’re mighty blessed.” He sighs. He’s got to be so tired. He had done his chores during the day, and then he was out helping people get out from being stuck in the snow. He came home and had to rescue Evie and me and bring me to the hospital in the snowstorm. He sat up here until he could come and be with me. All the work. Tirelessly selfless. I look up at him and smile, putting my arm through his, squeezing.

  “Yes, we are. Mighty blessed.” I agree, trying to feel hopeful.

  We stay this way for a long time, not wanting to leave her. I start to doze off when I feel the chair moving, barely awake to register Memphis’ strong arms laying me down on the bed, his warmth enveloping me. Safe. Secure. Loved. I still feel so guilty for risking Annie’s life in order to save Evie, yet, I couldn’t imagine if anything would have happened to Evie. Such a hard thing for a mom to do. I hadn’t thought twice about it. The night’s events surged through my mind until I thought no more.

  “And when you’re ready, ya’ll can go in and touch her with the built-in gloves through the incubator. Hopefully in a few days, if all goes well, Sadie will be able to hold her and feed her from a small bottle. ‘Course, everythin’ will be taken day by day and how she’s doin’ but at least ya’ll can spend a little time with her.”

  I was dreaming about holding Annie, Memphis by my side, when I heard a voice. My eyes open slowly, seeing Kim walking around the room, and as I take a deep breath, the smell of something yummy goes straight to my stomach. I hadn’t realized just how hungry I was. I focus in on Memphis, sitting on the end of my bed, and smile as my heart rate increases just looking at him. He’s so fine. Even the most gorgeous guy can be tarnished if he doesn’t have a good heart. It’s what is inside that could kill his looks so quickly. Memphis has it all. Gorgeous. Muscular. That sexy grin. And a heart of gold.

  “Hey, Darlin’.” That grin I love so much appears as he turns his head towards me. He stands and walks over to me, bending down and kissing my forehead. He helps me turn over onto my back then pushes the button to raise the back of the bed until I wince. “Sorry. You okay?”

  I look up and smile. “Just a little sore.” Actually, from the night out in the cold, all the pain, and having a Cesarean, I’m hurting pretty badly.

  “I got what you need,” Kim says smiling as she pushes a needle into my I.V. line. “I brought ya some broth, Jello, and some pudding. Maybe tomorrow, if you do okay, you can graduate to some soft solid food.” I don’t care what it is. I’m starving. I thank her and watch her walk out of the room. Memphis sits down on the bed beside me, pulling over the long tray holding my food. He hands me a plastic spoon and I dig in.

  “Was she talking about Annie before? I thought I was dreaming,” I ask him in between bites.

  “Yup. She said we can go into her room today and touch her usin’ these gloves that are built into the incubator. Then if everythin’ goes well, hopefully in a few days, you can hold her in that room and feed her.” I stop mid-bite, my spoon raised, and then I set it down in the bowl, suddenly losing my appetite. I feel Memphis’ arms around me, pulling me into him. I go willingly, laying my head on his broad chest. “Now, don’t fret. God has a plan.” I just hope his plan includes Annie staying here with us. I lower my brows. Guilt consumes me again as I think about being out in the elements last night and putting her at risk instead of lying in bed as I was told. She’s still at risk. “Stop thinking about it, Sadie.” He knows me so well. “You did what you had to do. You did the right thing. Today instead of Annie here alive, we could be mournin’ the death of Evie.” I look up at him, holding my tears at bay. He’s right. It could have been the other way around. Annie could still be snuggled in my stomach and Evie could have died. A horrible death for any person. I give him a small smile and nod. “Now.” He pushes me up and lowers his eyebrows at me, giving me his stern look. “You need to eat and get your strength up, missy.” His mouth breaks out into his sexy grin. “You need to be ready to go see our daughter in a bit.” I nod, my appetite coming back in full force. I pick up the spoon and eat in earnest.

  By afternoon, we were allowed to go into Annie’s room. Two other babies were nestled in their own incubators, fighting for their lives as well. My heart raced with a little fear but a lot of love as Memphis pushed my chair up to the side of her incubator. Her little eyes are closed, her small chest rising and falling with the help of the oxygen being poured into her small body from the tube in her tiny mouth. Tears well up instantly in my eyes as Kim shows us how to put our hands into the built-in gloves. Once my hand is fitted, I reach over and touch her little foot, gently pinching each tiny toe, sad that I can’t actually feel the softness of her skin. A sob breaks free and Memphis’ arm that’s been around me the entire time, squeezes me. “So small. So precious,” I whisper.

  “She’s got your pouty lips,” he replies. I look up and see his own tears in his eyes.

  I smile. “She’s got your stubborn look about her, your cute nose, and I bet she has your eyes.” I only wish we could see them.

  “Cute?” He laughs. One bursts free from me but I can’t take my eyes away from her.

  We stayed here for an hour until I started h
urting, needing to get out of a sitting position. I reluctantly let Memphis push me back to my room, tears falling down my face the entire way. He lifted me in his strong arms, kissing away my tears, and crawled into bed with me, holding me until I fell asleep.

  The following days were filled with seeing Jared and Evie, having to explain to them about why they couldn’t hold Annie and how she was born prematurely and what that meant. How we needed to pray for her to grow stronger so she can come home. Finally, on the fourth day, feeling better but still sore with the stitches from the C-section, I was allowed to actually hold her. Memphis was allowed in the room but it was explained that since she already has my germs, I was the only one who could hold her. I felt bad for Memphis but he just smiled and told me it was meant to be and was grateful I could hold her and he could see her in the flesh. She weighed next to nothing in my arms. Jared and Evie peered through the window smiling and laughing as I held and fed her from the smallest bottle I’d ever seen. Her eyes opened and I was right. Dark brown eyes looked up at me and then at Memphis when he spoke to her. I was proud that I kept my tears at bay, not wanting to spoil seeing her in my arms. I looked over at the kids, them jumping up and down at the window with Trevor, Colby, Prie, Shiloh, and their kids all standing behind them.