Trusted Page 8

  Chapter Seven

  After getting back from signing the statement at the police station, I go to the bar and start working on paperwork, trying to get my mind off of last night. Mom was a big help to me this morning, and even though I’m shaken up, I need something to help get my mind off of it. Stormy called and we talked for an hour, but I had to persuade her from coming over since she has her OB appointment today. It was nice to hear when she told me Bo wants to talk to Harley and tell him he was wrong about him. Now, if only I could find Harley. It was sweet that he gave Mom and me some privacy, but fear has taken ahold of me because he never came back to the apartment. I feel like last night shook him up almost as much as it did me.

  I’ve been working on the computer for about an hour, my head moving around loosening the knots that formed, when Pete walks into the office smiling and sits down in a chair in front of my desk. “We have a real hero in our midst.” He tosses a newspaper down on my desk, and I look down at the words he’s circled. As my eyes scan the words, I pick up the paper and finally, when I finish reading I look over it at Pete. “Good thing he was there, huh?”

  “Yeah, good thing.” Pete’s smiling, but my mind is racing. “Have you seen him today? He’s usually here by now.”

  “Aw, don’t worry. I’m sure he’ll be here soon. Well, I better get to work.” He winks as he stands and walks out the door.

  The night comes and goes, and Harley never came into work. The news traveled fast, and Harley’s night of heroism was talked about all night. By the time we close, clean up and I get up to my apartment, I’m emotionally exhausted from worry about Harley’s leaving, the feeling of him never returning and my heart is broken. I don’t know what to do with myself, so I take a hot bath, put on a comfortable t-shirt and sleep shorts and get into bed. I lay there, in the dark, staring up at the ceiling until my eyes grow heavy and dream of Harley.

  “Maybe it’s better that he left, Pearl. If he has issues that make him run then it could be a blessing.” I look at Stormy across my kitchen table and sigh. I know she might be right, but my heart says she’s wrong. “Oh, honey. I know it’s hard. Hell, look what I went through with Bo before I finally let myself be happy. I had major issues in my past to deal with and obviously Harley does too.” She reaches across the table and pats my hand. “But even though your heart might feel one way doesn’t mean he’s right for you. You still don’t really know him that well and maybe you need to try to move on.”

  I look down at our hands and close my eyes tight, then open them again and look up at Stormy. “I know but I’ve never felt this way before about someone so strongly and my gut and my heart tells me he’s a good person and someone worth knowing. I remember when a wise woman once told you that love is stronger and will endure anything thrown its way. Bad things and situations makes it even stronger.”

  A laugh leaves her mouth, but then her face softens. “That’s true and you are a wise woman.”

  I look down again and feel my eyes water. “Thing is…. I don’t know if he loved me or even wanted to try to be with me. Now, I may never know.” I hear her chair move as she releases my hand and then feel her arms around me. We sit there in silence. My heart so shattered.

  She squats down next to me and gives me a smile. “Why don’t you go talk to Dr. Anderson? You know how much she helped me sort through my miscarriage and my issues. She’s wonderful and can really help you, with not only what happened but also with your feelings for Harley.”

  I look down at her and feel a little hope. “Yes. You’re right. Thank you for not only being my wonderful sis-in-law but my best friend.” My arms move around her, and we hug. God, I hope something will help me.

  Another night creeps by and still no Harley. My movements are full of dread and worry, but I continue on because I have to, not because I want to. I’d rather wallow in my broken heart, in my self-doubt as a woman and in my insecurities while taking a bubble bath with a glass of wine, but I dredge on.

  “Night, Pete,” I yell over as he walks towards the door. He stops and turns, his face full of concern and his eyes sad.

  “Do you want me to wait until you’re upstairs before I leave? I don’t mind, you know?” His mouth lifts into a small smile, so I give him one back.

  “No, you go ahead. I’m gonna do a little computer work before I head up. You go home to your girl.” He nods and winks and then walks out the door.

  I walk over, lock the door and head back to my office, turning off lights as I go. Sitting down I pull up the reports from the days’ inputs and start checking figures. My mind is engrossed in the reports when I hear a noise from out in the bar, my head snapping up and my heart begins to beat wildly. What was that? I become very still and listen for a couple of minutes but don’t hear anything. It must be my imagination. I know I’m still jumpy from the other night and my nightmares have lessened at night, but I’m still having them. I’ve got an appointment with Dr. Anderson tomorrow afternoon and hope that will help my nightmares go away and help me heal, but I’m not sure anything will help mend my broken heart. Another loud sound and I jump. My body begins to shake. I look back at the computer and shut it down, then pull open the right lower drawer and grab the small gun Dad makes me keep in there. Thank God for Dad. I look around all over my desk, moving papers, and then opening drawers and finally realize I left my phone upstairs. Dammit! I didn’t see a need to have a phone in here since my cell phone is normally on me, and the closest phone in the bar is behind the counter. I wonder if I can sneak down the hall and into the kitchen, get out the back door and upstairs quickly. Crap! I’m an idiot for not having a phone in here. If I can get through this, I am so getting one put in here first thing tomorrow.

  I stand quickly, walk to the door, and flip off the office light, my hand shaking on the switch. I just stand for a moment trying to get my eyes adjusted to the darkness. My heart is about to beat out of my chest as I tiptoe out of the door, staying close to the wall and creep down the small hallway towards the kitchen. Once I’ve reached the end of the hall, I peek around the corner and out into the bar and scan around the large room. My chest heaving as I try to keep my breathing quiet. Not hearing or seeing anything, I walk across to the kitchen. My eyes still roaming the bar and finally, I make it there, pushing on the swinging door and freeze when it creaks loudly. You know that moment when the stupid girl in the horror movie walks around in the dark when you know she shouldn’t? That’s how I feel right now. I stand there shaking. I feel like I could be sick as my stomach ties itself in knots. After hearing nothing around me, I push it open again and start to walk quickly, but as quietly as I can, through the kitchen. My eyes are focused on the back door, as the small light that always stays on across the room helps me to see a little better.

  I only make it halfway across the room when I’m knocked back against the wall. A hand covering my mouth and one behind my head, which cushioned it from hitting the wall hard. My eyes are squeezed shut. My hands are pushing against the person’s chest, but I’m so caught off guard that I’m still trying to get my bearings.

  “Shhhh, it’s me. Harley,” the familiar voice whispers. What?

  My eyes snap open, my breathing irregular, but I feel a little relief when I look into his piercing blue eyes. His hand slowly moves from my mouth, my lips part and my breathing expels rapidly.

  “I’m sorry I scared you but I had to make sure you were alone. I….” He whispers, his eyes scanning mine, but the look on his face is of worry and concern.

  I smack him hard on his chest, my eyes wide and my chest heaving. “Harley. I don’t understand. Where….?”

  His mouth is on mine breathing the life back into me. My hands move of their own accord around to the back of his neck, my fingers digging up his short hair and into the longer hair on top of his head. His fingers weave in my hair. His tongue pushes into my mouth, and mine finds it quickly as our lips press harder against each other’s. He brings me closer with his arms around me, and my back leav
es the wall as I fight to get even closer to him. His lips leave mine but kiss the corner of my mouth, my jaw and then up the side of my face. The skin of his face and the soft hair of his scruff rubs up against mine with his kisses. “I couldn’t stay away. I’ve been watching from a distance.”

  My head moves back, feeling the loss of his lips and skin, and my brows lower as I look into his eyes, our mouths only a breath apart. “But.... Why did you leave? What made you run? Was it me? Did I….?”

  He kisses me again and then gives me a sad smile. “No. Never you.” He looks down, and I bring his face back up to mine with my fingers under his chin. “With the article, my name on it, I had to leave. The attention…. I’m afraid all the bad things from my past will be uncovered so I ran but not far, I couldn’t. I’ve just stayed hidden, out of sight. I was scared, but I couldn’t stay away from you anymore.” His lips are on mine again in an instant. Tingles run throughout my body and my heart is beating rapidly for a different reason now. He releases my mouth and presses his forehead against mine, and his eyes look at mine and into my soul. “Do you feel that? Please tell me you feel that too.” I nod, and his smile is wide as we both stand there in the semi dark, our heavy breathing matching each other’s.

  “I’ve always felt it. Even the first time we brushed fingers when we first met,” he whispers. He presses his mouth against mine, again. His fingers twist in my hair tugging my head back a little and that only spurs me on. Our heads lean the other way, getting another angle, as we continue our heated kissing, but it’s like we can’t get enough, still not able to get close enough. My lower lip juts out in a pout when his mouth leaves mine, but my eyes hold his as his hand moves from my back, his fingers brushing the skin on my face.

  “So beautiful. So good, sweet and kind. I don’t deserve you but I….” My pout changes to a smile as I move my hand to lay on the side of his face, his skin warm and soft, and his scruff tickling the skin on my palm.

  “I know I don’t know your past but I know what I’ve seen, what I feel in my mind, heart and soul and you deserve everything good. You deserve to be happy.” My voice is low but just above a whisper.

  He presses his forehead against mine again, his eyes close, and I can tell he’s confused and frustrated. “God, I wish you were right. I want you to be right, so badly.” When he opens his eyes, they move to mine, and he notices my tears and steps back. His thumb wipes away a couple that have fallen, and then he takes my hand. “Come. It’s late. Let’s get you upstairs.” I only nod as another tear falls, and I brush it away quickly. He leads me to the back door, locking it behind us, and I follow him up the stairs and watch as he unlocks the door, my heart swelling when I realize he kept the key. After locking it, he leads me to the front door of my apartment and does the same, but once we’re inside, I surprise him by removing my hand from his, pushing my hands against his chest as my mouth finds his in the dark, and now our rolls are reverse as he hits the wall with his back. He doesn’t seem to care, his arms around me in an instant, his moaning causing me to moan and our kissing becomes heated fast.

  Finally, his mouth breaks free of mine. Our breathing hot and heavy again, coming out in pants as he holds my face in his strong but tender hands. “Fuck, what you do to me. I want you so bad but you need time to heal, physically and mentally.” He strokes over my bruised cheek carefully and my heart soars once again. “Come. Let me hold you tonight, let me take care of you. Are you still having nightmares?” I nod sadly. “Then let me help take them away.” He takes my hand and leads me across the room, up the stairs and into my bedroom. I walk into the bathroom, grabbing my sleeping attire and change quickly. When I come back into the room, he’s already in bed, fully clothed and half under the covers but holding them up as I crawl under them. I’m in his arms and hear his fast heartbeat as my head lays on his chest. “Sleep now.” I close my eyes and feel a little peace envelope me in his strong arms.

  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

  I lay awake, staring at the ceiling and feeling like shit for scaring her, but I had to be careful. I know she wants to know me better. I want her to know me better, but I’m just not ready. To be honest, I’m not sure I can ever tell her everything. I’m too afraid she’ll hate me. I want to let go of my fears and love her. I want her and need her, but I don’t know how to let go. Finally, my eyes close, but all I can think of is her.

  “Harley.”

  My eyes snap open, and I look around the room then down at Pearl. She’s asleep, her body still, and I’m glad she hasn’t had a nightmare, so I let my eyes slowly close again.

  “Don’t leave me”

  My eyes open again and look down as her arm squeezes my waist and her eyes open, looking up at me, and I can see the wetness in them in the moonlight coming through her window. I lean down and kiss the top of her head and then look back into her beautiful eyes, my hand rising and cupping her face. “I’m not leaving you, baby. I’ve only just found you.” Her eyes close as she nods slightly in her sleep state, and I hear her sigh and then her light breathing. Right then I make a decision to figure out how I can stay in her life. I have to. However, I have to do it in a way that doesn’t cost me the other girl in my life.

  After about two hours sleep, I quietly and carefully remove her arm from my waist and get out of bed. I walk down the hall to what is supposed to be my room and get in the shower. All of this running around the last couple of days, trying to come up with a plan, sleeping in my truck and the sexual frustration of being with Pearl last night has not only worn me out, but has made me need a shower and my cock aches horribly. Grabbing the soap, I lather up considerably, take it in my hand, and stroke it hard. I lean over, my other hand slapping against the tile, as my eyes close and pleasure shoots through me. I try to envision Pearl and her beautiful eyes. The way a dimple shows slightly when she smiles big, her sexier than shit nightwear and her cute ass that sways when she walks. My balls start to tighten, my cock wanting to release. I don’t have to wait long when my mind conjures Pearl’s mouth over the head of my now pulsing cock, my hands squeezing her firm butt cheeks. The look in her eyes as she hums, my cock exploding in her luscious mouth and how she devours every last drop of my liquid, greedily.

  “Harley?”

  I open my eyes, my hand pumping my cock harder and faster trying to get the last bit out. “I’ll be right there,” my voice squeaks in its raspier than normal state, that I hardly recognize it. I lather up the soap again and begin washing my body. I grab the shampoo and wash my hair as fast as I can and rinse off, then take a towel from the rack and dry off. I brush my teeth, run my fingers through my short hair and throw on my clean t-shirt and jeans I brought in. When I open the door and peek out no one is there. Shit! I walk down the hall and find she isn’t in her room either, so I practically run down the stairs and almost knock her over as she starts walking up from the bottom. My hands grab her upper arms, steadying her, and she looks up at me as I tower over her from the step above hers.

  “Oh, uh! Sorry! I wasn’t sure you, uh, heard me before.” Her words tell me she didn’t hear what I was doing in there, but her eyes show me she did.

  I lean down, brushing the hair away from her face, her eyes looking everywhere but at me and keep leaning until my mouth is close to her ear. “I heard you,” I whisper. I look down as her body shivers and smile.

  She takes a step back carefully trying not to miss the last step and inches towards the wall. “Oh! Good, well…. Yeah, good! I….” Her eyes move from mine, down my skin tight shirt, down to the waist of my jeans and then right where my cock is straining to be set free and then they snap up to mine again. I just can’t help the cocky grin that’s appeared on my face. “Well, I have to….” She turns, and I try not to chuckle, then she turns to face me again, her eyes landing on my chest. “OH! I made breakfast. That’s what I wanted you for and to see if you were chest…. DRESSED…. I mean….” Her eyes look down as she turns and starts to walk towards the kitchen. “Breakfast is ready,” she mumb
les but loud enough that I can hear her perfectly. So fucking cute.

  I follow her into the kitchen and grab the plates of food while she brings the glasses of juice over to the table. We eat in silence and I can tell she’s uncomfortable. “So….” Her eyes raise up to meet mine. “You didn’t have any nightmares last night.” Her beautiful mouth turns into her gorgeous smile.

  “Wow! You’re right. I hadn’t even thought about it this morning. I have an appointment with my family’s psychiatrist in just a little bit and it will be great to let her know that.” She takes a bite of food, her face beaming, and I start eating. “You know….?” I look up and see her face turn into deep thought, and now I’m a little nervous.

  “What is that beautiful mind of yours thinking?” I ask, but am afraid of her answer.

  “Well, I just thought….” She starts to chew on her lower lip, and I think I know what just popped in that head of hers.

  “I’m not talking to your shrink. There’s no way. Don’t even ask.” I take a drink of my juice and see the sadness on her face. “Look. I appreciate you wanting to help me. I do. But I can’t tell anyone, Pearl. If anyone deserves to know it’s you but I just can’t. I’m aware that what is said is confidential, but I still can’t take that chance. Trust me.”

  She looks down at her food and swirls her fork around in her eggs. “Okay. I trust you. I won’t ask you to.” Her eyes move up to mine and she gives me a small smile, but her body is stiff.

  I end up cleaning up the breakfast mess and tell her to go to her appointment, kiss her lips and her body relaxes. I clean up her apartment, do a load of my laundry and then get hers from her hamper and do hers too. I have just folded and put it all away when I notice I should be getting downstairs to get the bar ready to open. I guess this appointment is taking longer than I thought. I get down to the bar, clean, stock shelves and replace kegs and then Pete unlocks the doors, and we are busy as soon as the first customers come in. About two hours later I start to get worried about Pearl but look up and see her walking into the bar. Her smile is wide, and she is gorgeous as she talks to customers making her way to the counter, slowly. Her face is lit up, the healing bruise on her cheek covered with makeup and her elegant moves making everything fade around me.